I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
