is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
