think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
