I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I stole a fireplace last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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