Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
