We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
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