the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
