So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
