Got a toothbrush?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
