Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
