why didn't you poke me back
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
