So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
