i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
