Can i not drive my cunt home
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
