I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
