Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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