I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
