Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
