You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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