like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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