so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
