its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
