Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
