when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
