Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
