where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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