Do you still have your period?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Randomize
