I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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