filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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