I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
