Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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