Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
