the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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