yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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