I wanna bring you to show and tell
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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