I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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