I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
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Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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