Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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