thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
