I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This is the high leading the old right now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
