Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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