Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
its not stalking. its research.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
