You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
