need another drink. this is the easiest way
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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