my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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