This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
