Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
