and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
