Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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