my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
