Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
