Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Randomize
