So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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