come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
