theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
