Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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