Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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