Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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