I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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