So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He passed out mid-signature
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
