we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
