Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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