Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
