Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
