She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize