are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize