I just threw up on my dentist
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize