If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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