Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
